Column: The right way to quarantine

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Jordan Ruppert

Quarantine means keeping your distance to protect yourself and your community. This piece shares ideas from buying toilet paper to spending time with family.

Aloha! If you’re reading this, you’re probably looking for something you can actually do during quarantine. Here’s the thing, I know this is really hard to believe, but the things you can do are really limited while you’re stuck in your house. 

Apparently, experts recommend that you keep a consistent schedule during times like these. Below are my recommendations on how to do that. Some of it is definitely dubious and some of it’s pretty alright. 

Attend office hours/watch AP Live classroom

Because yes, school is *technically* still in session. Your online learning experience should mimic your in-class learning experience as much as possible. That’s why I recommend that you use the handy-dandy private messaging tool on Zoom or just text your friends regularly while you’re watching the same teacher. Send memes, complain about how boring stuff is or make jokes about literally nothing. Most importantly: never pay full attention to the teacher. If you wouldn’t do it in school, why do it at home?

Don’t sleep properly

Did you ever get a full eight hours of sleep during school that wasn’t on the weekends or at an abnormal time? No? Well, then why do it at home? Stay up late, watch Netflix or Hulu or whatever you stream on and simply enjoy being the only one awake in your house at 3 a.m. Remember, normalcy is important when everything else changes, so keep that wacky sleep schedule of yours. 

Use this time to better yourself

You could open up Duolingo and start learning an obscure language you may never use. Watch weird Netflix documentaries on conspiracy theories. Develop a regular exercise routine. Learn to cook. All of these are wonderful things to do to pass the time when you’re not ignoring the teacher or sleeping abnormally. 

Follow the Tangled Schedule

Remember that song at the beginning of the movie? The one titled “When Will My Life Begin?” It’s the one where Rapunzel goes around her tower just cleaning and reading and painting and reading and painting and brushing her hair and cleaning and reading some more. Obviously, Disney has provided a perfect example of how to spend your day. Have fun with that. 

Screw up your appetite

Let’s face it. You’re bored. And what do humans do when they’re bored? They eat or snack. No other explanation necessary. 

Keep in touch with friends

This one you actually should do. It helps keep up morale because social interaction is very important. Yes, even for all you introverts out there. Eventually, you’ll get bored of seeing the same few people daily. You’ll still love them, but you’ll get just a little bit tired of just them. You might even start marking the days on a chalkboard wall like a prison inmate or a psych ward patient. So please, keep in touch with people outside the walls of your house. 

Fall into a COVID-19 spiral

You could endlessly research all the breakthroughs and battles fought with COVID-19 and send them to everyone you know and add to the fear machine. Or you could just learn enough to keep yourself informed. Your choice.

Spend more time with family

You love them. They love you. Have some fun with them, especially seniors. Senior activities may be on hold for the moment, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still make the most of your last few months at home by spending quality time with the family. 

Buy a monstrous load of masks and toilet paper

I’m not even going to pretend like this is real advice. Toilet paper won’t save you, and medical professionals need nice skin too. But seriously, medical professionals working with confirmed COVID-19 patients need masks and they’re running low at several hospitals.

I hope you take the good advice and avoid the dubious stuff. Have fun in quarantine!