Column: End the Pink Plague


Grace Nguyen

With approximately 400 pink slips handed out assigning Thursday Night School, TRL’s Ben Nopper and Lily Hager explain how the “Pink Plague” threatens to take over the school.

We high school students share a lot of things every day. We share the same halls, drink from the same water fountains, eat from the same lunch lines…practice the same bad habits.

Consequently, we share the same fate: the Pink Plague. So when the phone rings in the middle of your third period teacher’s lecture, everyone falls silent and the teacher calls your name, when you begin your epic walk of shame through the hallways to receive a pink slip, know you are not alone. You now have plans with hundreds of other classmates on Thursday night.

Your friends probably came down with it too. You’ve seen the “T’s” in their PowerSchool, and you recognize the side effects. They’re coming down with the plague.

The Pink Plague is uncontainable–so widespread that the lecture hall is too small a space to quarantine it. The illness has now taken over the main gym. Soon enough, the CDC will try to keep the Plague contained in the Allen Event Center.

But is this fate inevitable? It’s hard to say for sure. Scientific studies show that the Pink Plague is spread primarily through the germs on unfinished papers, tardy slips and lunch detentions.

Unfortunately, nobody’s responsibility-fighting immune system will work forever. Luckily, there is a remedy. You can finish that rhetorical analysis, you can make it to class a minute earlier, and you can behave like a well-rounded high school student. Instead of sharing bad habits, we should share punctuality–the ultimate cure. This is the cost-effective home remedy to the Pink Plague.

I beg of you to end the plague before all students fall victim. Please, for the safety of our school.