Applying to college: a modern epic poem

Applying+to+college%3A+a+modern+epic+poem

Liz Schasel, Editor-in-chief

You don’t know procrastination

Until you meet college applications.

You set yourself some deadlines

And assess your expectations.

 

The common app opens

each year on August first.

You think “I’ll finish by September,

October at the worst.”

 

A week goes by, you set up an account,

And pretty much stop there.

You reward yourself for the initiative,

and go out for some fresh air.

 

Suddenly it’s August 19th,

And school starts in a week.

You forgot about your summer assignments…

Your whole future looks bleak.

 

You finish your homework (hopefully)

Just in time for school.

You haven’t done as much as you’d hoped

This summer by the pool.

 

But do not fear, the actual deadline

is still so far from now.

October 15th and January 1st?

You’ll get them done somehow.

 

Senior year starts whizzing by,

the next two months a blur.

“It’s easy!” they promised. “A blow-off!” they cooed.

You really aren’t so sure.

 

Sweat starts forming on your brow

One day when you awake.

Your honors app is due in eight days,

This has to be a mistake.

 

Double fisting ice cream cones,

your stress and appetite grow sky-high.

“Describe yourself in five sentences”

might as well say “Learn to fly.”

 

You check the college’s online portal

and feel immediately aggrieved.

The transcripts you sent three weeks ago

Have apparently not been received.

 

And just when you thought that you were done,

You remember your standardized test.

You pay 50 bucks to send the score,

and finally, you rest.

 

Congratulations, round one is done.

You have officially applied.

You grant yourself some mental health,

and hope you don’t get denied.

 

A month goes by, it’s Thanksgiving break,

and you remember you’re not done.

You’re applying to five schools total,

and you’ve only finished one.

 

By now your friends have been accepted

and all know where they’re going.

You won’t hear back until late March,

It sure must be nice knowing…

 

But forget about that, it’s time to focus.

You still have places to apply.

You start writing the other essays,

And kiss free time goodbye.

 

Now oh my gosh it’s finals week,

And you are still not done.

You remember how proactive you felt,

underneath the summer sun.

 

Now it’s winter, the clock is ticking,

the deadline is weeks away.

You hate yourself for all the time you spent

NOT writing an essay.

 

Although the deadline is so near,

You’re just sitting at home.

You engage in pseudo-productive activities

(Like writing an epic poem).

 

The deadline is in less than two weeks.

You’re filled with angst and regret.

For some reason you so badly crave,

Four years of accumulative debt.

 

But you’ve always worked well under pressure,

You’re going to finish strong.

You’ll submit on time and find the school

Where you were meant to belong.

 

This time next year, the taste of freedom

Will be the only thing you remember.

Advice you’d give to the high-schoolers?

FINISH APPLYING IN SEPTEMBER.