Sophie Starnes

TRL’s Nicole Genrich offers advice on winning over the Valentine of your dreams.

Roses, giant overpriced stuffed animals, cards, and young love. Some might say Valentine’s Day is the greatest holiday, but others might say it is an over-commercialized, sappy excuse for celebration. No matter where your opinions are on the spectrum, here are some tips on how to land a boo this season.

Luckily, this year Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday fall on the same day, Feb. 14. This opportunity is the perfect excuse to bring the person you’re talking to on a first date to a several hour long church service. Besides, everyone looks really good with gray ashes smeared on their forehead. They can meet your family and your pastor all in one date.

If you decide that the whole going out and making a big deal about Valentine’s Day isn’t for you, try the romantic “invite them over and cook dinner for them” date. Even if you can barely make ice, that’s OK. If you give your date food poisoning, they’ll still appreciate the effort. Salmonella or not, it’s the thought that counts.

Every year the orchestra flower fundraiser provides an opportunity to show a special someone that they’re loved. With this fundraiser, you either go big or go home. By this I mean you buy out all the carnations and write an individual note on each and every one. If you don’t come on really strong, they will have no idea how you feel. Seize the opportunity here.

Pro tip: If you’re not really feeling a relationship or a fling with someone this Valentine’s Day, buy yourself 10 flowers and write yourself notes. Everyone will not only think that you’re a lot more popular than you actually are, they’ll also see how unavailable you are and want to date you even more.

Here’s a real go-getter plan of action: cover your crush’s car with Post-It notes, each inscribed with a term of endearment. They’ll love getting to read the messages as they peel them off their windshield. It will even give them something to do while the parking lot is still crowded from the after-school rush. It might be a little cold to stand outside but use this opportunity to leave them one of your favorite jackets, too, as an extra gesture of love if the notes weren’t enough. Pro tip: Use biodegradable Post-It notes so the environmental club doesn’t come after you.

As far as gifts go, I always say go all out instead of playing it safe, whether you pull a “How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days” move and get them a scrapbook of your future kids or just get them nothing and see if that’s cool with them.

If you decide that trying to get a Valentine has turned into a recipe for disaster, just tell them that you were actually a foreign exchange student this entire time and that you are finally moving back to your home country of Breakupistan and that there is no technology there due to the communist regime.

Overall, I hope these tips prove to be successful in getting a boo this Valentine’s Day. Remember, if it doesn’t work out in 2018, you can always try another tip next year to win that special someone over.