Column: Don’t be a flaker


Parker Nolan

Canceling plans, arriving hours late, and overcommitting are all symptoms of flakiness. Sophomore Lily Hager addresses flakers in order to end their selfish habits.

Flaky can be good- flaky biscuits, flaky pastries, snowflakes.

But flaky can be very bad- flaky scalp, flaky lips.

Flaky people.

According to Urban Dictionary, a flaky person is unreliable, a procrastinator, and a careless and lazy person. They say they will do one thing, and they never do it. They say they will meet you somewhere and show up an hour late or not at all. This is the art of flaking.

It’s irritating.

Some of you flaky people were made to believe that it’s OK to flake out. Maybe you have parents who habitually cancel plans. Maybe you have friends who are so kind yet overly gracious– they haven’t told you how much of their time you tend to waste.

Some of you run on your own ever-changing schedule. You press snooze three times, spend 15 minutes brushing your teeth, take five minutes choosing your music playlist to listen to in the car, and when you arrive at your destination, you say, “Sorry I’m late. Crazy morning.”


Now, some of you are natural-born flakers. Some of you people wake up at 4 a.m. and are still half an hour late somehow. Or you make plans freely and fail to remind yourself about them until you get a text saying, “Where are you?” All I have to say to you is battle it. It won’t be an easy fight, but you must be victorious. Please, at least win before you get a license. Once you turn 16, you’re on your own in the deep, dark world, and everyone out there will know you’re like this.

So if you are thinking, Oh no, I might be a flaker, I do have some helpful hints for you.

First, you need to realize what’s happening. The root of your flaking issue is that in the moment, you act as if the world revolves around you. When you make a commitment to be somewhere, another person reciprocates that commitment to you. They are going to ask off work, deny a party invite, or stray from their daily schedule to make time for you, and you should do the same. Unless there is an emergency, you are expected to appear where you say you will be.

As someone with terrible memory, I’ve had to adapt to the busy world and build stability against flakiness. Set reminders on your phone. Keep your plans on a calendar. Try to grow awareness of how long it takes you to complete even simple tasks to ensure that you don’t waste your time. And lastly, once you have made significant change in your life, repent to everyone you know for being the person you used to be.