The Immortals has everything that would make a good movie. Greek gods, athletic looking shirtless guys and a hot cast. But apparently, as the movie makes clear, that’s not enough. The Immortals is kind of like a giant chocolate chip cookie that looks deliciously mouthwatering but then ends up being rock hard and tasting like cardboard. The movie’s trailer looked great and raised high expectations, but the actual movie was as disappointing as a rock hard chocolate chip cookie.

The movie follows the standard Greek myth story, a struggle between a young brave hero and an evil force of some kind. In this case the young hero is Theseus, played by Henry Cavill and he tries to protect the ones he loves against the evil King of Crete, Heraklion.

Greek Gods and the Titans are mixed into the story to the point that it becomes very hard to follow. While watching the movie, the viewer begins to think: wait who is on whose side? And are the Titans evil or not? The movie doesn’t explain the background of the characters well enough so it becomes confusing.

On top of that there was way too much blood and gore. Definitely not a good date movie. The viewer just becomes saturated with the violence of the movie and its no longer dramatic and effective. Not to mention that the movie is supposed to be 3D, and with the 3D glasses the violence scenes look almost animated. So it seems like a violent Disney movie. Two genres that don’t mix well at all.

The relationships between the characters fell flat as well. The romance between the hero Theseus and the Virgin Oracle Priestess Phaedra, played by Frieda Pinto, had no spark. The interactions between the two characters aren’t compelling or interesting. And Theseus himself wasn’t very heroic at all.

The Immortals is lacking in compelling characters and a fluid story and the directors used excessive violence to try and compensate. If watching people being slaughtered in gruesome detail sounds like the perfect way to spend a the night, then this movie is a perfect fit.