1.   Because you only go once a year, or if you’re me, once every time your newspaper class takes a field trip (so once).
It’s totally okay to cheat on your diet—or that diet you haven’t actually started yet but totally will—for one day of golden opportunity…literally. The foods are fried golden brown and most can only be found at the state fair. Plus, if you split each deliciously fattening treat with your friends, not only do you save some money, but you can also trick your brain into thinking you’re eating less; Even though the reality is that you will probably use your saved coupons to buy other fried foods. And don’t worry, if you can’t trick your brain, just keep telling yourself that one day of indulgence won’t hurt, unless you eat the fried butter. Even I stayed away from that one…

2.   Fried Cake Balls…
And cinnamon rolls and Oreos and Twinkies and cheesecake and ice cream and so many more. ‘Nuff said.

3.   It’s hot and there is a lot of walking to do.
Once you realize how many calories you are actually consuming, FEAR NOT! For we live in Texas and thine weather is hot and the state fair haseth lots o’ walking wherest one can attempt to burn thy calories thou hast consumed. Or in other words, after a couple hours after the state fair you will be sweating out most of the grease you just ate anyway. Besides, what goes in, must come out. That’s the saying, right?

4.   The rides are crazy expensive.
You’ve already been suckered into buying at least $20 worth of tickets, and if you’re as money-cautious as I am, you realized that 10 tickets for a ride is equal to $5. And again, if you’re as money-cautious as I am, there is no way you are going to spend $5 on a 30-second ride. So, what to do with your surplus of tickets? Obviously stuff your face.

5.   You can make self-deprecating fat jokes.
Seriously, who doesn’t love those? It’s never funny when someone tries to make a joke about how skinny they are. You are a much more relatable person if you call yourself fat and proceed to list off the disgusting foods you just ate. We’ve all done it, and we will all probably like you more if you do it too.

6.   In the event you are suddenly stranded on an island with no food, the extra fat you have consumed will last your body at least one more day of survival.
This one’s a biggie—we’re talking about life or death here. Sure, that extra day of survival could be yet another of starvation and boredom, or it could be a day where a plane flies above the island and recognizes the sad excuse for letters you formed with moldy pieces of driftwood in the shape of the word “HELP.” With that extra layer of fat, you’ve just secured yourself that extra day, and consequently, a longer lifetime—one you can celebrate by eating more fried foods! It’s a win-win.

7.   It’s better to regret the things you did do, than the things you didn’t.
Besides, it’s better for storytelling purposes if you can talk about all the fattening culinary inventions you consumed and be able to describe them in detail, rather than talk about the time you had the opportunity to try such things, but declined in an effort to save your beach bod. Speaking of which…

8.   It’s October.
Your beach bod should be long gone and should not return until the week before spring break where you are frantically doing sit-ups alone in your room at night like the rest of us. Halloween is coming, so consider the state fair fried food collection a pregame to the continuous candy consumption that will happen at the end of the month. Or even better, the immaculate feast you will devour come Thanksgiving. Or better yet, the sweets and treats available at every waking moment in December. Just face it, Holiday season is coming, and the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can stuff your arteries with greasy fried foods. (We all know you want to).

9.   YOLO.
Just kidding… but really.

10.  YOU ARE A TEXAN, GOSH DANGIT.
Everything’s bigger in Texas, and let’s just go ahead and put it out there—everything is fattier too. We love our fried foods and we aren’t ashamed to admit it. So show your state pride and go down to the state fair, stuff your face with as many fried food items you can find, stand in front of Big Tex, and smile for a picture as the grease trickles down all four of your chins. You’ll only regret it when you’re lying in a hospital bed recovering from the heart attack you just had, at which point your doctor should hand you the medical bill and say “Do you want fries with that?” And the answer is yes. Yes you do.