Column: Conquering the Voice

Insecurity is something TRL's Lily Hager is familiar with and believes it can be defeated

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Column: Conquering the Voice

The Voice inside Lily Hager's head used to rule her thoughts, but now she feels in control.

The Voice inside Lily Hager's head used to rule her thoughts, but now she feels in control.

Parker Nolan

The Voice inside Lily Hager's head used to rule her thoughts, but now she feels in control.

Parker Nolan

Parker Nolan

The Voice inside Lily Hager's head used to rule her thoughts, but now she feels in control.

Lily Hager, Staff Reporter

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Just like every girl, I know the Voice.

“Don’t get up; people will see you.”

“Cover your face with your hair so nobody has to see it.”

“Pull your shirt down so you can be invisible.”

The Voice is sharp and cold, like rushing water in an icy river. The scratchy, heavy, dark voice. I was forced to walk- crawl- through it’s painful call because there’s no other way to survive it. My eyes winced as I obeyed its command. I thought it was right.

I thought wrong.

My misshapen toes, awkward clothes, pudgy stomach and unsightly face. The Voice warped my mirror. I thought I was ugly. I thought I was gross. I thought I was heavy. Too heavy to be important. Too heavy to be loved. Too. Heavy.

That was what I was told every day. I was reminded by every eye I saw looking at me. Surely they agree with the Voice.

Such a lie.

Such a lie tears every girl apart. I didn’t know this Voice was wrong until I was told the truth. The truth that every girl in the world deserves to hear.

It all changed when I was invited to a church camp. I heard from a different Voice- the Voice of Truth- that I was beautiful. That I was chosen by the God almighty. That I was loved unconditionally.

Most of all, I was told this truth:

When God knit me together, he stood back and said, “She’s my masterpiece.”

In the most beautiful way possible, I was torn down. I fell to my knees longing to know more of the beautiful truth. I was brought to tears by the love God has for me. I was spiritually made vulnerable, and my shattered core was remade.

The Voice in my head was defeated. To this day, my opened eyes have changed my world. Where I once saw an ugly face, I see someone with a mouth to speak truth and ears to hear it. I see someone who is loved. I see someone called on a mission. When something like perspective on yourself changes, nothing is ever the same.

For the first time ever, I saw a stunning person in the mirror. I felt as if I was glowing, yet I looked no different than the day before. Not only did I witness this in myself, but I watched the glow in my family, classmates, and strangers, because I know the truth isn’t exclusive.

When I see the people around me, I see someone God loves. I see someone I love. I see someone worth fighting for. I see this in you.

Because you are.

I see you. I see you at school, in the stores, and in your cars. You may not feel it yet, but I see your beautiful glow. Your beauty makes me smile, and you deserve to see it too. Not one more girl should have to suffer from the Voice inside their head. Not one more action should be wasted in obedience to the Voice’s deceit. Everybody deserves to see themselves in light of the truth.

Be confident in who you are. Remember this truth, and resist the Voice.

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