Trials and tribulations of a lactose intolerant

Got milk? Nope.

Matt Smith, Staff Reporter • February 3, 2015

Lunch time can be a struggle for students with lactose intolerance.

Cows are often referred to as the “foster mothers” of the human race because they produce the milk that we use everyday. Arriving first to America in 1611 to the Jamestown Colony, they have been using their incredible talents to make milk in America for some time now. That is all great, but for some people, cows are some lousy animals sent to this earth to poison them. The milk they produce can be detrimental to a select few in the world. The truth is, milk is not in everyone’s cup of tea. There are some that get sick from it.

Those who suffer from lactose intolerance, cannot easily digest a type of sugar, lactose, found in milk and other dairy products. Despite what some may think, it is not actually a food allergy. As the lactose moves through the digestive process, it causes discomfort in the victim leading to bloating and gas.

Lactose intolerants live with the constant reminder that they are unable to eat everything that all their peers do. Milk is in a lot more than one would think, limiting the selection one could choose from at the local grocery store. Moving down the lunch line, while the person in front of them chooses the creamy delicacy that the average human calls “alfredo sauce”, the lactose intolerant individual shamefully has to resort to marinara on their pasta.

How many times have you awoken in the morning and thought how nice it would be to have a bowl of cereal with a bit of 2 percent? Lactose intolerants don’t have the privilege to think that. The real struggle comes when put in big social situations. They say peer pressure can be tough when it comes to alcohol, but the real fire comes when handed a slice of pizza.

Milk has forever been associated with helping an adolescent grow big and strong. Without the “nurturing” effects of dairy, lactose intolerants have to find their own ways to put on the muscles and strengthen their body. Of course some are perfectly fine with looking like a stick, but many spend the majority of their days slaving away in the gym or out on the track trying to make up for the loss in nutritious materials in milk.

You know Mark Spitz? He won a collective 9 Olympic gold medals and held nearly every record in competitive swimming for some time. That incredible beast of an athlete didn’t get there because he was born to be a swimmer. Spitz had to fight his lactose intolerance by strengthening himself in the pool.

While being a lactose intolerant has it’s pitfalls, there is some solace in a few overlooked advantages. They may not be able to be featured in a got milk ad, but they’ll be able to grow more meaningful mustaches from real, actual hair. Lactose intolerants can laugh all they want at the lunch table and never have to worry about any milk coming out of their nose. As of late, dermatologists have even started to suggest a dairy-free diet to those trying to clear up their acne, due to recent studies that have found that dairy can act as an aggravator. So enjoy that extra bit of butter on your bread. Lactose intolerants will rest easy with a clearer, more beautiful skin complexion.

While this may come across as an intense disease that you are now very sympathetic about, this article is purely a dramatization. Most lactose intolerants have learned to cope with their condition by supplementing milk with several alternatives such as almond milk, which is actually quite tasty. Despite all of this, just know, the lives of some 6 million individuals in the United States alone are affected by lactose intolerance and should be treated with respect for their daily struggle to avoid tummy aches and embarrassment. Next time you’re scooping ice cream into your bowl, remember the lactose intolerant and heavily enjoy every last bite you have.

About the Contributors

Matt Smith, Business Manager

To say it in the nicest of ways, Matt Smith is a very interesting member of our newspaper staff. We don’t necessarily want him here but he would not stop nagging all of us this year to allow him to take part. He is an annoying, short, ginger with the lamest jokes. His nickname (given to himself) is Witty Smitty and if we don’t call him that, he gets upset and says he is going to put you on his “hit list”. After you get on that prestigious list, you become his object of obsession, and he usually stalks you for a week, camping out in your backyard, constantly looking through his binoculars through your window. Creepy, right? Don’t worry though because he is all talk. Sometimes, when he isn’t telling dumb jokes, he tells stories that are so outrageous and ridiculous that you can’t even imagine why he would ever think that we believe them. He claims to have fought Floyd Mayweather in an underground boxing tournament, where he broke his undefeated streak three years ago. He also tells us that he is a longtime pen pal with Justin Bieber, who allegedly copied Witty’s style back in ‘06. Matt insisted on us including that he won the Class Clown Award back in 1st grade and that he intends on breaking the Guinness World Record for the most days spent continually humming Lady Gaga songs from daybreak to sun down. (Is that even a thing?) We are all praying that he will get a hint this year that we just really can’t stand him, and then maybe he will leave. Until then, pray for us.

Stu Mair, Photo Editor

Stu Mair has been taking pictures of things for years, but has only been on The Red Ledger’s staff for a year. Now the editor of the photo department, he ensures that noteworthy events receive coverage from the Red Ledger. Stu splits his time between several extracurriculars, which has severely adverse effects to his amount of sleep. He is passionate about many things, and photography is one of those things. When he isn’t standing on the sideline taking photos of various sporting events, he can be found reading textbooks or chilling by the pool. Stu is sad that his high school career and his time at the Red ledger is coming to an end, but he is also excited to head to college and turn over a new page in life.