High school. Some people love it and some people hate it. Four years of your life are dedicated to high school and, let’s be honest, learning isn’t the only thing that goes on.

Many students deal with their first heartbreak, drama with friends, and exposure to drugs and alcohol. The choices you make, even during freshman year, can affect the rest of your high school career. Reputations are easy to get, but hard to get rid of.

I would know.

Freshman year… I was terrified. It seemed crazy for me, a little 14 year old to be going to the same school as 18 year olds. However, as the months went on I started to feel like I was growing up. Then, it happened. I sent a revealing picture of myself to a boy in my school that I liked.

The next day was normal. I had actually forgotten all about it. The weekend rolled around, still no problems. It wasn’t until Monday that I realized something was wrong.

Everyone in the school saw it. I had boys coming up to me asking if they could get some more. I had girls staring me down in the hall, looking at me like I was disgusting. Girls even came up to me telling me how dumb I was and calling me a whore, as if I wasn’t already humiliated enough.

The next couple of weeks were awful, and just kept getting worse. In each of my classes I would become more anxious about having to walk to the next. I would put in my headphones and speed walk through the halls, but it still seemed as if everyone was looking at me; I was the talk of the halls. Some people freshman year are worried that no one will know who they are… I had to worry about everyone knowing who I was.

Sophomore year came around and I was happy to start clean. Then, not even 3 months into the school year it happened again–my picture recycled through the school. I couldn’t do anything about it; I had to live the nightmare all over again.

The school was notified by a source that there was an inappropriate picture of me going around. I was called into the office a couple days later and received a day of Out of School Suspension (OSS)  and two days of In School Suspension (ISS). Many boys who were caught with the picture received ISS as well.

My parents were also notified and had to have a meeting with the school board. The worst part of the whole situation was having to tell my dad. The thought of knowing I had embarrassed him and let him down was the worst punishment of all.

He told me that even though I made a mistake, I can’t let it ruin me. He said that a time like this is when I need to turn to friends and family and start to heal- something I continue to do even today.

When the picture resurfaced I realized this event is something I will never fully live down. This is entirely my fault and something I have learned to live with. I lost many “friends” over the whole ordeal; that’s only one of many consequences following my mistake. One of my closest friends told me she needed to distance herself from me because her reputation was becoming trashed. But I always thought friends are supposed to help you and be there for you in hard times; however this made me rethink my relationships with the people around me.

In my life I have seen at least five seminars about sexting. As early as middle school we were exposed to the seriousness of it all with assemblies called “Aim For Success” where we would hear real-life stories about how sexting can ruin your life. I remember the story of one girl who committed suicide because a revealing picture was sent around to her classmates. I felt bad for the girl, but I thought to myself, that would never happen to me.

I did something I told myself I would never do– a situation many girls may find themselves in. Boys who ask for pictures will say the same thing, “I won’t show anyone” or “I will delete it right after,” but this is likely a lie. Once you press send, your picture is out there forever and will never be completely deleted. If you have to send a provocative picture to get a boy to like you, he isn’t worth it. One thing my mom has always told me is that in high school you should look for your bridesmaids, not your husband.

Hopefully other girls will learn from my mistake. I regret many of the choices I have made in the past. Some people will always look at me differently now; girls might look at me as a “skank” and guys might look at me as an easy target. What they don’t know is that I am fully aware of the consequences followed by my actions.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that even when people try and take advantage of you, you can’t lose respect for yourself.