It is in the jokes we tell, the songs we sing, and the news we read. Whether it is noticed or not, there is a rape culture all around us. Defined as the culture of a society that tolerates rape and sexual violence, rape culture causes society to be desensitized to rape and to see it as an action that can be excused from punishment, or an action that can be justified through placing blame on the victims.

Rape culture starts with a flaw in society: women being taught to not be raped, instead of men being taught to not rape. And while men are taught a social code of conduct and manners like “yes ma’am” and “yes sir” in school, they are not necessarily taught not to rape, because it should be blatantly clear that sexual assault is wrong. Nonetheless, rape has become more and more of a frequently excused occurrence because people forgive and make excuses for rapists. They find explanations to rationalize why the victim would have been raped, or better yet, place responsibility for the assault on the victim. Examples include the common phrases, “she was walking alone,” or “she was probably wearing provocative clothing.” Victim blaming is far too common and, in itself, can be such an absurd concept. How are men and women alike supposed to come forward and confess what has happened to them when they are afraid of what people will think or say? As Buzzfeed blogger Ryan Broderick says, “the old metaphor is that women who dress provocatively are the same as homeowners who don’t lock their doors at night. But this argument only further reduces women to objects and asks them to be responsible for preventing their own rape.” Victim blaming is a way of perpetuating rape and encouraging future victims to keep silent.

The frequency of sexual assault is astonishingly common. In fact, 1 in 6 women– and 1 in 33 men– have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. Yet 97 out of 100 rapists receive no punishment for their crime. The acceptance of rape as a normal aspect to life is evident when these facts are brought to light. People all around the world have been affected from rape, yet you may never know because some victims are simply too afraid to tell. Why should they speak up when the most common outcome for victims who speak up is ridicule from those around them? The documentary Silence provides a look into some of the reasons why many victims never speak up. Their friends and family think they’re lying to get attention, sympathy, or simply making it all up. While it is true that these situations can occur, it is rare for a person who has not experienced sexual abuse to claim they have.

Media has managed to romanticize and encourage rape while gaining people’s blind support. Specifically, it is referred to in hit songs such as “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke. This is a song that tells the story of a woman that may be into him, but he can’t tell. A repeated lyric in the song is “I know you want it.” Yet, it is confusing as to how this song, that can reasonably be thought of as a rape-themed song, manages to be adored and sung by millions of people. But this is not a one-time case; popular songs of today are often overly sexual and similar to Thicke’s sad excuse for a “song.”

Another element in the rape culture that disconnects the situation from people and limits men and women are cases commonly known as myth rapes. The most common myth rape is expressing: men/women should not (fill in the blank) because then they will get raped. The blank is filled with stereotypes such as do not wear suggestive clothing or never go anywhere alone. A man/woman’s independence is often questioned and insulted because people will throw out comments such as, “you’re lucky you didn’t get raped while doing that.”                                  Stranger rape, another myth, puts the stereotypical image of a rapist as a stranger hiding in a dark alley. But, in most cases, this could not be farther from the truth. In fact, two out of three rapes are committed by someone known to the victim.

These myths are used to blame women for being raped, strip women of their independence, and attempt to separate rape from reality. Ignorance will never stop rape. While rapists can be strangers, they can also be your family, friends, or neighbors. Yet, it seems that no one truly understands this crime until it personally affects their life or the life of someone they’re close to.

Recently, rape culture has been brought to the attention of many people across the world. This is all thanks to the developments in social media, allowing the tags, #YesAllWomen and #YesAllPeople to trend worldwide on Twitter. The hundreds of thousands of tweets sent by people in all parts of the world show how much people have to say about victim blaming and making excuses for rapists.

Rape culture is everywhere. We are surrounded by opinions and situations that perceive rape as a misunderstanding that has a reasonable explanation instead of what it truly is– a crime that ruins lives. We have to make the decision to take a stand and to not submit to the norms of the society around us that have blindly accepted rape culture. Males and females are manipulated and abused by rape culture daily. It is up to each individual to make the decision to stand against rape culture. People need to realize that song lyrics, jokes, and snide comments about rape that form rape culture will never stop if the actual action of rape can go unnoticed and unpunished. The first step to ending rape as a whole is to end the culture supporting it. End rape culture.