Free falling into college
May 14, 2021
Pondering on the concept of leaving for college brings about many thoughts. Some good, some bad and others just plain scary. By scary, I don’t mean the fear of monsters under your bed. I am talking about the fear that comes with knowing that your life will never be the same. I know that as soon as I graduate high school, I am finishing a chapter of my life that I have been accustomed to for the past 18 years. This being said, it feels like I am starting an entirely new book rather than just closing out a chapter. I’ll be on my own, making decisions for myself that will ultimately lead to what the rest of my life will look like. Sure I’ll have my parents to call or friends to talk to, but as time goes on, what I get out of life will be totally reliant on my own choices.
Moving five hours away from home will be a huge step for me. I have lived in the same house since I was born, and I am not very familiar with change. I will be leaving the people that I have bonded with for years to form new relationships with people I have never even met. Sure, this is exciting, but it’s also similar to skydiving. It looks fun, but until I have finally jumped, the panic and anxiety is built up inside of me. The familiar faces of my parents and siblings will be hours away and will only be seen through small screens. I am fortunate though to have grown up in a generation where we can be connected by our phones even if we live in different states.
I have written more than half of this column already and still haven’t mentioned my dog. It sounds silly, but I have never known life without one. My dog is part of my family and is definitely going to be one of things that I look forward to seeing the most when I come home to visit. Sorry if you are reading this and are one of my siblings. The dog takes priority. I will miss the people who I have grown up with for sure. It is awesome to see where all of my friends are going in their lives, but knowing that I am not just five minutes down the road from them will be different. It will be especially hard to accept that the two people that have been the most constant in my life won’t be near me. Part of me is excited to see what life will be like without parents, but I will admit that I’ll probably be secretly homesick in my dorm room.