Gingers are a dying breed of human beings. Their luscious red/orange hair makes them pleasantly different from everyone else, yet not all of the world recognizes them for their uniqueness. They are commonly made fun of for their pale complexion and their millions of freckles. If the bald eagle has been recognized as an endangered species in the U.S. and been memorialized time and time again, I ask everyone, why can’t gingers be given the same treatment?

Despite what all the haters say, redheads have actually made quite the impact on history. Napoleon Bonaparte was a ginger. He abolished feudalism in France. So was Cleopatra. She was basically the Marilyn Monroe of ancient times. Queen Elizabeth I, Thomas Jefferson, Vincent Van Gogh, Galileo, Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, and Malcolm X were all gingers too. I actually can’t think of anyone at the moment that was more significant in human history than those people. Just shows how influential redheads are.

Those heroes would be offended to hear anybody talking bad about their own. Would you want someone like Vladimir Lenin coming after you with all his communism and stuff because you told that poor little freshman he had no soul? Why is this insult even a thing anyways? You are the one without the soul.

This might come as a surprise to you, but gingers are actually not the spawn of the disease “gingivitis”. Gingivitis is a common and mild form of gum disease (periodontal disease) that causes irritation, redness and swelling (inflammation) of your gums. It is usually caused from poor oral hygiene. It offends me that you would think I don’t brush my teeth. I know plenty of brunettes that disrespect their pearly whites, or should I say their “golden nuggets”.

Another thing that must be pointed out, “carrot top” is not a very accurate nickname for gingers. Yes, they are both orange, but carrots are vegetables that are high in vitamin A. Gingers are high in LIFE, because they are normal human beings like the rest of you people. Redheads are also not all from Ireland. Therefore “Leprechaun” is not a sufficient nickname for them either. How would you like it if I called you “Beach Babe” because you have blonde hair and I’m trying to infer you are from California? How would that make you feel? Probably pretty bad, right?

Some people miss all the wonderful things red hair has done for people over the years, and continues to do for them. For example, when they grow old, their hair will turn a beautiful white rather than the ordinary grey that plagues the average senior citizen. Some countries, like the Netherlands, have even dedicated a whole day to celebrate gingers. Gingers are a huge deal in J.K. Rowling’s wizarding world and totally have game with some of the more attractive mudbloods (a.k.a. Hermione).

I seek to ease the minds of offended redheads everywhere. You and I are unique. We make up only two percent of the entire world population. We are the mighty red beacon of hope for an era so obsessed with stereotypes. As for the rest of you, get this straight: gingers are people too. They have two arms and a gentle body that can give perfectly nice hugs just like the rest of you. Keep this in mind the next time you think about making fun of some ginger in the hallways for their raging red locks; they really do have a soul.

Sincerely,

Matt Smith

Proud ginger