We’ve had a lot of technology fads in the last few years. The hashtag had a short run, but at its prime we couldn’t help but use it as every other word. Then it was Vine, where our attention spans seemed to last only six seconds. And we all remember taking our first selfie. But a recent fad that has most teenagers pulling out their hair is the read and no reply.

It’s happened to all of us. Whether you text everyone and their brother or you get a total of four text messages a week, we’ve all gotten the read and no reply. It’s pretty self-explanatory. This is a scenario when you shoot out a message to an individual who reads it and chooses not to reply.

Now that doesn’t sound too horrible at first, right? In some circumstances, it isn’t an absolute disgrace to the recipient of the read and no reply, like when it’s just an informational text. For example, you send a text saying, “I’ll meet you there at eight,” and they reply with “Okay.” There isn’t much you can say to that and the purpose of this message has already been fulfilled, so why continue the conversation? Or when you send out congratulatory text and they reply with the usual “Thank you,” there’s no reason to continue texting one another unless you want, so the read and no reply is considered okay here.

But then we have those individuals who find it acceptable not to respond when in the middle of a conversation. You could be having a perfectly normal discussion with each other and they suddenly quit responding. Now how does that make you feel? Well for me, I feel as though I did something wrong. I constantly worry that I was annoying or too clingy for their liking and so they dumped me before it got unbearable for them. When really they could’ve just been busy or unable to get to their phone at the time. Nobody should feel this way, it just creates unnecessary insecurities.

Of course, I’ve been on the other side as well. Sometimes I don’t reply because it’s unneeded and I know they won’t miss an inconsequential text saying “K.” Other times I wait to reply for an hour because, in all honesty, it makes me seem busy and social. Don’t lie to yourself. You’ve done this before too. But is it really necessary? No.

The read and no reply is cruel. There is nothing we can gain from this without putting others down so what’s the point? If you’ve lost interest in someone, tell them. If you’re busy and can’t text right now, tell them. If you’re just trying to look cool by waiting to text them back, stop. You’re putting the other person through misery. So next time, instead of hitting them up with the read and no reply, hit them up with the read AND reply.