Urban dictionary defines “friend crush” as experiencing a strong desire to become friends with a person you don’t know very well. While this definition is true, I think it’s better defined as a scenario that sparks an unnecessary amount of anxiety from the individual with the crush.

Having a friend crush is difficult. It’s kind of like when you’ve already seen a movie, but your friends still force you to watch it. You know the ending, but are still required to endure the journey there. Plus, you over-analyze every action and word you use. It feels as though one wrong move and all your hard work goes down the drain when really you two just had an inconsequential disagreement.

There are multiple reasons why friend crushes are a long, tedious expedition that requires an enormous amount of determination. Knowing the true beauty of a friendship before someone else realizes it is no walk in the park. Sometimes you don’t even succeed in the mission and you have to watch the potential with someone fall between your fingers. This is a process, trust me.

First of all, you can’t rush into these things because you don’t want to freak them out. How would you feel if someone started acting like your best friend even though you haven’t held a steady conversation with them before? You have to come off as calm and collected. Branch off of those common interests that originally sparked your attention. Try to get to know them better and see if your hunch on you two hitting it off was correct.

Another good aspect to think about is having a mutual friend. It gives you an excuse to talk to them in the first place. By using your other friend as a martyr, you can find multiple occasions to socialize with them and get a sturdy foundation for your friendship to grow on. It also gives you both some familiarity when you’re together so that there isn’t any awkward tension.

My final piece of advice it to hang out with them outside of school. You don’t want to be stuck as just a “school friend.” That’s when the only reason there is any sort of companionship between the two of you is because you see each other five times a week. This situation is just uncomfortable for everyone involved. Plus, the person could act differently outside of school. We all feel restricted when behind the tasteless, cream walls of our high school and some people enjoy the freedom of no supervision differently than you might expect.

Not all friendships are as simple as a few steps though. If your friend crush doesn’t work out, then don’t let it get to you. It’s their loss if they didn’t see the connection that you did and you definitely shouldn’t feel like you’re the one who did something wrong. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be or y’all will become friends later in your high school career. Whatever the cause, don’t blame yourself. You’re loved by your peers or parents for a reason. So don’t forget that.