“Prom is like totally going to be a disaster”

A satire on the conflicts of prom


Olivia Griffin, News Editor

In response to the numerous frustrated students complaining on social media about the timing and location of this year’s prom, the event’s organizers have decided to change the date and location of the event to an alternative venue.

“Noah’s is, like, the worst place on the entire planet to hold prom,” one angry student said. “Having it at Noah’s goes against the whole reason why prom was established: to have an over-priced event for girls to take an inordinate amount of selfies at. Having prom at a reasonably affordable but smaller location goes against everything that us promzillas stand for.”

The fieldhouse behind the school will serve as the new location for this year’s prom. High heels are prohibited, as they will damage the turf.

“It was a tough choice between the fieldhouse and that cornfield behind Wal-Mart,” one organizer said.

Due to the conflicts with the Suburbia Music Festival and the Allen High School prom, the date of the event has been moved to Tuesday, May 6, or, in stressed high school student terms, the evening in between the AP Computer Science and the AP Calculus exams.

The school has arranged for Mr. Finn to serve as the MC of the night, when he will play beloved hit songs such as “The Chinese Dynasty Song” and debut the new hit single “Indira Gandhi and Mahatma Gandhi Are Not The Same Person, Actually.”

Students are expected to leave the event by 6:30 p.m. in order to accommodate a football workout session already scheduled to take place in the facility. Should students have any questions or concerns about the changes, they can do so by ranting on their Twitter account and re-tweeting their friends’ angry subtweets.