Trendy health diets that are gross
March 7, 2014
I am kind of like a health food freak. OK well maybe not in the vegan/paleo kind of way but eating healthy is important right? Healthy and nourishing foods can be delightful to eat. However, I have tried every health food under the sun, and some of them are so bad you wish you were eating something bad for your body.
First off, NEVER EVER try boiled lemon water. It’s when you boil a slice of lemon in water, and then proceed to drink it as tea. As I have elaborated to my Twitter followers, it definitely is a gag reflex. It is supposed to help boost your metabolism, but honestly drinking it is the ultimate struggle. I heard an alternative is sprinkling cinnamon on everything you eat until lunch. That is supposed to have the same effect as the nasty satan lemon drink of death.
I saw this cinnamon idea on a link on Pinterest and clicked on it. I feel like even clicking on it was regrettable. I would like to make a personal statement that I couldn’t taste anything for like three days after. Yes, it’s that bad.
The next (not so) scrumptious health food is (drum roll please) chocolate flavored coconut water. I hate it. Everyone I have ever talked about it does as well. I got so pumped when I saw a coconut water flavored chocolate because I assumed it would taste like a Mounds or Almond Joy Bar. Just a forewarning: it doesn’t, it’s gross, and it looks like diarrhea.
If you want to be mentally scarred for life, visit our local Whole Foods and slam one of these bad boys down. You will probably regret it.
The third and final health fad to make you want to eat cookies again is plain oatmeal. Okay, I’m sure some people might enjoy this vile bowl of cat throw up, but the consensus from my peers is that I am not the only one who absolutely detests it. There is no cinnamon, no brown sugar, and no dinosaur eggs. Just oates and hot milk, ew. They say it is good for your hair and skin, but honestly I would rather have bad skin and hair than eat this stuff everyday. I like Special K cereal way more.
Good luck with healthy eating everyone… (:
The Critic Critic • Mar 7, 2014 at 9:27 am
Sorry, but it baffles me that somebody actually used “nasty satan lemon drink of death” in an article.