I was so, so excited to see The Polar Express when it first opened in theatres in 2004, with the book being one of my favorites ever written and Tom Hanks of course being a beloved actor in our household (as he still is!); I knew this film couldn’t be beat. But a mere 5 minutes in, I started bawling at the sight of these freakish humans, their eyes looking dead and their entire beings firmly placed in the Uncanny Valley. Welcome to The Polar Express folks, a disappointing Christmas film with very little to say and even less to show in terms of technology.

The main kid who leads this tale, going by the designation Hero Boy (voiced by Daryl Sabara, motion capture provided by Tom Hanks), wakes up one night to find a mysterious train called The Polar Express that will take him to the North Pole. With a handy conductor (voice and motion capture done by Tom Hanks) around, the boy’s journey helps him realize the true meaning of the Holidays.

Taking a children’s book and adapting it to feature length is no small task, but one that The Polar Express expertly fails at. Long sequences of little consequence (namely one in which the train skids on some ice) just go on and on and do very little to serve the plot. Tons of new characters, such as nerdy kid voiced by Eddie Deezen and a Hobo voiced by Tom Hanks, are introduced in order to pad out this pitiful story, but it’s just no use; The Polar Express can’t sustain the lengthy runtime this film requires.

Oh, but that motion-capture may be the films biggest achilles heel; this technology allows actors to put on a black suit that records their movements and dialogue. These movements and dialogue are then put into CGI characters in order to make them more realistic (Gollum and Caesar the Ape are two great examples of this process done well). Unfortunately, the whole process goes hideously wrong here, lending the characters a creepy appearance that will frighten people of all ages. The technology, atrocious as it may be, does lend as a nice symbol for the film itself; good intentions I suppose, but it all goes terribly, terribly wrong.