The online student news source of Lovejoy High School

The Red Ledger

The online student news source of Lovejoy High School

The Red Ledger

The online student news source of Lovejoy High School

The Red Ledger

Seven steps to making friends in an elevator

Using the elevator here at the school is an opportunity that is not fully taken advantage of. Yes, there has been rumor of the requirement of an “Elevator Pass,” but we all know nothing is ever really required.

Elevators are popularly known by their amazing music and awkward confrontations with strangers. Although most would not view this as an opportunity to make new friends, I say seize the day, Leopards!

Step One:
After pressing the call button, get as close to the doors as possible- just in case there’s a possible friend hiding behind the metal doors. In fact, press your hands against the sides of the door. Don’t want any little buggers getting out without a handshake and a smile.

Step Two:
Now that you have entered the friend-making zone, it’s time to sell the part. Studies have shown that people are likely to connect with people that are upset or nervous, especially girls. Those maternal instincts are always on the alert.
Frantically press both the floor button and the door close button- alternating one at a time for effect. The more times you press it, the more realistic your anxiety will come across.
For an extra boost of friendliness, press the alarm button. If it goes off, scream as high pitched as you can, and blame whoever is in the elevator with you. They will laugh at your joke, and when you become BFFLs, you’ll have a nice story to look back on.
Extra tip: If the button technique doesn’t seem to work, curl up in a ball and dry heave. This one works every time.

Step Three:
Curiosity has always been a friend to mankind, from the time of Pandora’s box. To create an aura of mystery and encourage the friends-to-be to come closer to you, crack your backpack and look in nervously, muttering “Got enough air in there?”
The more protective you act around your backpack, the better.

Step Four:
Everyone is up for a challenge. Bet the other person that you can fit a quarter up your nose. They will be intrigued by this, and will possibly go with you to the hospital afterwards, leading in to a great bonding opportunity.

Step Five:
Chivalry is not dead! Take on the role of Button-Pusher, and use the whole passing period waiting for people to come into the elevator, and insist on pushing the floor button for them. Do not leave the elevator until the bell has rung.

Step Six:
All aspects of school are opportunities for education.  Quiz your fellow passengers, and don’t let them leave until they get it right.

Step Seven:
Surely by now you have made at least one new friend, and if not- you are a disgrace to the people of the Lovejoy area. Feel free to remove yourself from the district.

If you have made a new BFF, make sure you walk out of the elevator linking arms, showing off your friend making skills to the world.

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About the Contributor
Jayme Allen, Staff Reporter
Jayme Allen (the Original Amiga) is a pretty chill piece of flesh. She’s the Master Sergeant of the Majestics Dance Team, which is kind of cool. Her greatest accomplishment in life so far has been watching all 192 episodes of The Office within a two week period of time. She eats a lot of Taco Bell and almost all of the workers know her by name, or just  call her “you again?’” She likes to write things and hates talking to people. Her favorite color is violet and her favorite place is Disneyland. She is actually Rapunzel. True story.

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