This summer, I worked at the fine Mexican fast-food establishment Taco Bell. I just wanted some extra cash, and instead I got a hands-on lesson on what people are talking about when they complain about the patriarchy.

I’ve been hearing about misogyny and creepy guys since I started watching Law and Order reruns ten years ago, but I never really had any personal encounters with it since we live in a pretty affluent neighborhood and am all but professional at avoiding social situations. However, even if I hadn’t taken that job at Taco Bell, I’m going to college next year and it’s going to be a lot harder to get out of social situations considering I want to have at least a few friends. I think sometimes I forget that Lovejoy is not anything like the real world.

I got more compliments on my appearance in those three months alone than I’ve gotten my whole life. Most of them came from men two to three times my age, but that’s beside the point. The point is that I was wearing a hairnet and a completely non-flattering uniform, and random, creepy old guys found it appropriate to comment on my underage body with a monotonous litany of almost uniform pick-up lines.

It was honestly just sad. The fact that they still thought that, “Hey, lookin’ good sweetheart, what are you doing later?” was an effective way to win over a member of the opposite sex pretty much guarantees that they have never had a single meaningful relationship. And it was sad because it also pretty much guarantees that that pathetic method has been effective before.

Guys need to think outside the box a little, seriously. I am more than a face full of makeup and a pair of legs.

I am a slow-burning fire and the space between the stars.

I have a voice, no matter how quiet it is.

You cannot change me out for any other girl on the street with a face full of makeup and a pair of legs.

I am not overwhelmingly flattered that YOU are choosing ME.

Using a unique compliment is not a guarantee of winning someone over, but I know I personally would have been more receptive to someone who could prove he had at least a little brain capacity.

But for God’s sake, take a hint. Guys, there are indeed times in which it is a great idea to compliment a girl on the way she looks. If you try that once and she does not smile or look you in the eyes for the next five minutes, stop trying. There is nothing romantic about an unwanted stalker who tries too hard, no matter what Twilight would have you believe.

It makes me unbelievably angry that, although it’s not a huge problem here, I can’t walk alone on a street at night without putting myself in danger of being attacked if I’m ever somewhere with a higher crime rate, which is basically everywhere. And it makes me even angrier that, in that case (don’t lie to yourself, you know you were thinking it) I would be considered to be at least partially to blame.

I hate feeling weak. Even if I were cute, that term itself is inherently patronizing.

And even if I were cute, I am so much more.