My heart started beating rapidly, my stomach dropped, my vision went blurry, my hand started to shake as I tried to pick up my pencil. All because I had a pre-calculus test in front of me.

This is my day-to-day struggle with anxiety. Anxiety is just a general term for many disorders. Anxiety can make everyday life its own struggle. It can cause excessive worrying, nervousness, and fear.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety for a while now. It affects little tasks that shouldn’t be a problem. Like taking a test, ordering food at a restaurant, and crowded areas full of people.

I’ve always had some of these problems growing up. I remember always being very cautious, and worrying about the randomest things, and always scared something bad was going to happen. Growing up I probably had more stress than the average youth so that might have played a part in my anxiety.

Anxiety is common among teenagers. Anxiety can be genetic or can come after trauma. Many people are probably living with anxiety disorders and not even know it. After my first major panic attack my mom decided to take me to the doctor.

I vividly remember that night, the night of my first anxiety attack. I was at my mom’s, stressing out over an algebra test the next day. It wasn’t just any test, this test grade would determine if I passed the 6 weeks or not. And let me add this, it was soccer season. No pass, no play.

I tried to focus and get my studying done. But I just couldn’t do it. Finally it hit me, I couldn’t breath and my hands were shaking. I remember getting really hot and I couldn’t speak. For the next 10 minutes I sat there trying to catch my breath so I could tell my mom I wasn’t dying. I finally calmed down enough to talk. But I couldn’t explain what just happened. I went and took a shower and tried to completely relax so I could get back to studying. After about an hour I tried to get back to my review and as soon as I opened my book it happened again. I couldn’t study for that test without panicking and almost passing out.

The next day I went to take my test and I was still pretty shook up. I ended up not even being able to finish my test. It took everything in me not to make a scene so I just gave up. That was the start of my problems.

I still have occasional panic attacks, a sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety; also commonly know as anxiety attacks. Most of my anxiety is related to school. Which is sad because I can’t do anything about it. I went to the doctor who prescribed me medicine to take when I’m having an attack or about to be in a position where I would be vulnerable to an attack. The medicine reduces blood pressure. Which slows the heart rate, which in my case is one of my main issues.

I also suffer from migraines and I have terrible sleeping patterns. I can tell when a migraine is stress related because one, it hits me in a high stress time and two, it is the most intense thing I’ve ever been though. I can’t be in loud bright areas or even move quickly. Anxiety can take out your life if you let it.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety for a while now and I’ve learned how to live with it. Simply staying organized can make a huge difference. When I have all my ducks in a row I feel like it gets better. Anxiety will not just go away. But I’m not letting it affect my life anymore than it already has.