The holidays; the most wonderful time of the year. Ha! Not. They are the most stressful, most crazy times. It shouldn’t be, but it is. Anyone with divorced parents will understand.

My parents split up the middle of my 7th grade year. It was a big change but I’ve been able to work it all out. It’s a lot better than what it was before the divorce. Everything was on edge and awkward. I knew it was coming, just waiting for it to happen.

Now that my sister is in college I’m the one who drives my nine year old brother Lee to and from houses. I’m also the translator; my parents go through me to talk to the other. I have to organize the schedule for Christmas and work out overlapping part.

 I still remember Christmas mornings at my old house. When my family was all together. People take the simple things for granted. I would do anything to have just one more family Christmas. Yes “two Christmas’s” is cool; it’s just not the same.

My brother doesn’t remember a full family Christmas; he was too young to remember. To him this is normal. In today’s world it’s starting to become more acceptable. According to the American Psychological Association 40-50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce.

My brother and I have really gotten close these past couple of years. He was too young to understand what was going on when my parents split. I thank god for that everyday. I am so thankful that he never had to get involved or see them fight. Now he just follows me, going back and forth like that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

I feel bad that he never got to remember the feeling of seeing mom and dad smiling from ear to ear as you open your gifts. Being able to throw your arms around their necks as you give them both a big hug as you thank them for everything.  I miss that feeling.

During the break my brother and I try to split time up evenly. My father gets us Christmas day and my mother gets us Christmas Eve. The worst thing is when we are spending time with our extended family and we realize it’s time to head on over to the other parent’s house. It always feels as our time gets cut short. It’s always awkward being the first to leave the party because we have another party we need to make.

Although Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, I get home sick more. It doesn’t feel right. I almost feel guilty being happy on the holidays because I know my parents aren’t. They both want us all the time. I know they don’t mean too, but it puts us, as kids in awkward positions.

As parents their jobs are to provide us a happy and safe environment to grow up in. I don’t blame my parents for anything. If you aren’t happy with something then change it. I know for a fact that if they didn’t split up when they did it would have been a lot worse. I’d rather have two meaningful Christmases then one awkward tense one.

Holidays are supposed to be happy, care free and fun. Don’t get me wrong, they are. They just bring back memories that I wish would stay hidden.

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