Being in a school with only a few people has its positives and negatives. Socially DAEP is kinda like being in time out, except instead of 45 minutes it’s usually about 45 days. Although I miss my best friends like crazy, I have thoroughly enjoyed the drama free lunches and not hearing rumors flying around the school. You think about a lot of things being in the kennel, and finding happiness can be difficult when one of the main things that made you happy before was being with friends.

Of all the things I have taken from my plethora of thoughts, the main thing is that you can’t be happy until you can find yourself. People cannot tell you how to find yourself it’s something YOU have to find, and once you do you will find the way of expressing it. There is no right or wrong way of doing it. I do not find happiness to be the feeling right after you get something or achieve something, and in my opinion happiness is one’s desire to have something they already obtain.

Given that all I have that I have full control over are are my grades, my happiness stems from maintaining my academics. There’s something to be said about how good it feels to teach yourself the material and then make good grades on the quizzes and tests. Helping my friends has become fun too because its a good way to see them, but also improve on the amount of information we know.

Heading back to the high school there are going to be 3 main concerns: First, I don’t want to lose the grades i’ve worked hard for (the teachers are gonna remain awesome, but I won’t have as much time for homework). Second, I would like to remain independent from my phone and stuff throughout the day. Third, I want to keep my relationships I have made with the people who haven’t viewed me any differently.

DAEP has been a growing experience for me. It has not changed me as a person and I would never want that.  However, it has made me realize the things that bring you down tend to be out of your control.