I am not the kind of person that enjoys school dances. If I wanted to spend three hours getting my eardrums destroyed, I would do it at home, rather than dress up and pay for dinner, a limo, and a ticket.

So one could imagine my dismay come prom season. As if it’s some sort of cruel punishment for not wanting to go to prom, I’m forced to listen to my female peers talk incessantly about hairstyles for prom, restaurants before prom, prom dates, prom groups, after-proms, and the ever-important prom dress.  All this is relatively harmless, albeit irritating. But if there is one prom ritual I truly cannot bear, it’s the extraordinary lengths a guy will go through to ask a girl to prom.

To be honest, it’s absurd what a guy has to do to get a date. We’ve hidden in balloon-filled cars. We’ve sent our prospective dates across town on scavenger hunts. We’ve snuck into their houses. We’ve created veritable fire hazards on their front lawns. We’ve even gone so far as to purchase kittens and tie prom invitations around their necks.

And for the most part, girls aren’t the ones who are demanding this Nicholas Sparks-esque treatment; it is us guys, that put asking a girl to prom on such a high pedestal.

I am not suggesting that we eliminate this prom procedure altogether. But once we start involving animals, it’s high time we take a step back and consider the implications of such extreme measures  to ask a girl to a high school dance: if this is the way a girl gets treated when being asked to prom, how will they expect to be treated when they’re being asked for their hand in marriage?  By constantly raising the stakes and escalating the expectations of our dates, guys are setting themselves up for failure, whether it’s today for a school dance or something even more meaningful down the line.

If guys take a step back and exercise a bit more humility in asking a girl to prom, it could revolutionize our approach to school dances. A non-dramatic asking sets the bar low for an enjoyable prom. That means less money spent on a dress, a meal at the Olive Garden instead of a five-star dinner, and skipping out on a limo. Not only will your wallet thank you, but (and I say this at the risk of sounding cliché) you can save all of these special moments for your wedding night.

I may not understand why, but prom will always be important. But just because something is important doesn’t mean we shouldn’t put it into perspective. So when you’re about to ask a girl to prom, ask yourself one simple question: Is this also a good way to propose to a girl? Because if it is, you might want to take a step back and save it for when you actually pop the question.