Class of 2022 Coaches

The Red Ledger: How do you feel the game against the freshman will go? Are y’all worried about your competition?

Trent Rucker: You know with the freshman I think we’re going to blow through them. They’re all like 4’10 you know-

Noah Naidoo: Not even that.

TR: Yeah. We’re going to catch balls over them and not even hesitate that game. We’re not even worried about the juniors or the sophomores.

NN: They all suck. It’s just that simple.

TR: We’re looking over the juniors and the freshman and we’re just beaming right towards the sophomores becaused that’s going to be the most competition if there’s any competition.

NN: Specifically to the freshman, I know my brother’s not coaching, but their grade sucks. 

Dillon Magee: They have no height, no athleticism, no experience – 

NN: Don’t talk about height, look at me. 

TR: Are we going to talk about how the junior coaches can’t see over the junior girls. Are we going to talk about that?

NN: Wait hold on save that. That’s good.

TRL: IF the seniors are able to pull off a win against the freshman  – 

NN: Able to?

TR: Wait?

NN: Who are you? Stop this interview right there. Able to.

TR: We are three year returning coaches. We’ve made adjustments.

NN: Listen don’t you ever word your questions like that, you got me?

TR: We know what we need to do to win. We’ve taken three losses in the past.

DM: We have experience.

TR: We are ready to take a W. And we will do anything it takes including breaking kneecaps.

NN: Including cheating. We will cheat – I mean I’m not going to cheat.

TR: Nah we’re playing dirty. No one’s safe out there.

All: No one’s safe.

TR: We have the most physical team on the field in all time.

NN: That is facts ask the juniors. Ask them.

TRL: Will the games be rigged this year or will the seniors pull off a fair win?

NN: No It’s going to be fair. I mean there will be some moments.

DM: We’re just that good we don’t need to cheat.

NN: We really are just that good. 

TR: It’s going to be a blowout no matter what.

NN: I know there are some moments when the seniors need a little help.
DM: But we don’t even need that help because these great minds think alike.

TRL: Lots of coach slander from the juniors, what do you have to say about that? 

DM: I’ll take this one fellas. Bennett Slaughter is the stiffest human being I’ve ever met. He’s stiff as cardboard. J Lav is still trying to see over the girls on his team. Mason, I love Mason. I don’t have anything on Mason.

NN: Nah I’ll talk crap about Mason. 

DM: Just let me know when the coaches can see over the girls. And Bennett, keep bouncing your feet bud. 

NN: No comment. 

TRL: Dillion you’re going up against your brothers’ team, have y’all been able to separate work and play and keep the tension out of the house? 

DM: You know it does get a little intense in the house sometimes, but they actually have informed me that they have not had one practice yet. That’s not good for them at all because they lack intelligence as well as experience. 

TRL: What are y’alls opinions on the freshman coaching staff? How do y’all compare?

NN: I don’t even know who they are to be honest.

TR: The who?

NN: Who are they? I haven’t heard one word about the freshman? 

DM: Streeter is one.

NN: Oh that’s terrible. If it’s Rylan Streeter. My God.

DM: Trent you want to say anything about that one.

TR: I honestly think he’ll be too distracted looking at my sister play her game then actually coaching. So I’m not too worried about the freshman at all.

DM and NN: OH!

TRL: What are your team’s strengths and weaknesses?

DM: Our biggest strength is that we have no weaknesses.

NN: I’m going to be real. We are the tallest team I think Lovejoy has seen in a couple years. We’ve got a couple of girls standing above 5’10. It’s ridiculous. And Trent is coaching.

DM: Trent’s got a fresh new cut everyone.

TR: I really don’t want to distract all the teams with my new cut.

TRL: What do you think it takes to beat the freshman?

All: Nothing.

TR: Our worst play.

NN: We could play how Sulfur Springs played against us and beat them.

TRL: How much confidence do you have in your team?

NN: A ton. They have been doing the work.

TR: Same team for three years, and their chemistry is unmatched.

NN: We finally found where each of them fit. 

TRL: Any last comments 

TR: We’re still here. That’s all I’ve got to say.

NN: Don’t test me at all.

DM: We’re coming for heads.